My Parents Told Me I Would be a Failure. Here’s How I’m Proving Them Wrong.
For years of living at my parents’ home, I was subtly prodded and pruned to specifically meet their needs and requirements. Do this, do that. Now I know what you’re thinking — this is some woman who’s throwing a pity party. No, I’m really not. But here’s my story and here’s where I’m going and hopefully it motivates those who could be in the same problem.
Since I was younger, I have always tried to be prove to myself and my family that I am enough, for the oldest was always the golden child (and I believe still is). My sister is genuinely a wonderful being, but constantly being shadowed upon and feeling next to worthless day by day can take a huge toll on many things. Her being very academic and me being more artistic can often make the family lean to the so called ‘smarter child’ in hopes they will be the child they brag about to their friends.
Now this isn’t what everyone’s case is; but I truly believe that my family just don’t see the reason why I do certain things. I have followed their paths long enough to be the ‘successful child’ and frankly had enough. Just over a year ago, I got pushed to do an Architecture Course because ‘It’s the only way my art qualifications can be made use of,’. I spent a year in London studying architecture during a pandemic so not only was staying in a flat isolating, but also the tutors were critical and diminishing which ended up with long nights wondering why I still wasn’t good enough. I was doing what my family wanted, and I was working hard to make the highest quality of work. But it wasn’t enough. Still not enough. This ended up me spiralling down into this pit of depression that took a long time to crawl out of.
My boyfriend, being my main support, ended up asking ‘Are you really enjoying this? Do you want to be feeling like this for 5–7 years?’. Seeing this perspective and knowing that really, I should be focusing on my mental health before anything, I decided to drop out. I didn’t want to be doing something that was making me so low that I couldn’t get out of bed. Why would anyone put themselves through that? My family, much to their despair, were very resentful of the whole process. I told them why and the reason behind it, but they wouldn’t agree to it. Taking the whole process into my hands, I sorted out dropping out, cancelling student finance, and finding the next path that would be more suited for me.
My family believing that it was my boyfriend who was manipulating me now began to aggrieve for my boyfriend and I. Everything became a lot harder. Working towards my goals and generating new sources of income was my main goal to get before September. Long and behold, I have started a full-time job in Digital Marketing, created a shop online to sell my art, and have started a couple of freelancing jobs on the side to help bring in as much revenue as possible. I’m not in any way spiteful of my sister but knowing that I’m getting income in my early 20s whilst she’s doing a master’s degree and spending an extortionate amount of money towards it gives me reassurance that this is the right choice for me. The fact that I was even okay with working long hours and over weekends to do my first year of architecture gives me shudders.
I will never be doing something that I hate just because my parents told me it was a good idea.
Stay True to Yourself, and Find Your Happiness
— Maddie
Woahcial Managing Director
Woah.
